Why I Am Going to Israel

Recently two of my friends asked me why I am going to Israel next week. I thought I would share some of the reasons why here. First of all, I have always wanted to go to Israel, just because it's where Jesus was born, lived, died, rose and ascended. I mean, really isn't that enough? No other place on the entire earth can say that Jesus walked there. Of all the land on the planet, God chose the land around Israel as the place where all the biblical action happened, from creation to the end of Revelation!

This land has always been and still is today, the epicenter of the world. There are many things happening today around this land that have not been happening in years, and there are signs that the end of the Bible, Revelation, could be approaching prophetic fulfillment! What an exciting time to be alive!

The people of Israel trace their origin to Abraham. Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob all lived in the Land of Canaan, which later came to be known as the Land of Israel. The people of modern day Israel share the same language and culture shaped by the Jewish heritage and religion passed through generations starting with the founding father Abraham. Jews have had continuous presence in the land of Israel for the past 3,300 years! After the exile by the Romans, the Jewish people migrated to Europe and North Africa. This was called the Diaspora, meaning scattered outside of the land of Israel. Jewish people established rich culture and economic lives and greatly contributed to societies where ever they lived. However, they always continued their attachments to the land of Israel and prayed throughout the centuries to return. In the first half of the 20th century there were major waves of immigration of Jews back to Israel from Arab countries and from Europe. During the British rule in Palestine and during Worlds War II, the Jewish people were subject to great violence and massacres. About 6 million Jews were murdered during the Holocaust alone!

In 1948 the Jewish Community in Israel reestablished sovereignty in their ancient homeland! They became a nation on May 14, 1948. Before Israel became a nation, people would describe the land of Israel as desolated desert land. Since 1948, the land has began to "bloom" just as Scripture prophecies in Isaiah! And every year more and more Jewish people return proudly to the nation of Israel for permanent residence!

Jesus was Jewish but yet when He began His ministry, many Jewish people did not recognize Him as The Messiah. They did not feel Jesus fulfilled all the qualifications for the Messiah and are still waiting the Messiah's arrival. Gentiles (non Jews) who receive Jesus as their Messiah and Lord are "grafted in" the vine. I am thankful that Gentiles are received into the Kingdom of God! But let's not forget the Jewish people. These are God's chosen people, the apple of His eye (Zech. 2:8). They are beginning to see Jesus, Yeshua, as their Messiah! Remember the Gospel message is "to the Jew first, and also to the Gentile" (Rom. 1:16)

We should love and bless Israel because firstly, the Bible says that God will bless those who bless the people of Israel. I am so thankful to the Jewish people for the blessing we have received form the. John 4:22 states that "Salvation is form the Jews." Through Israel the promises and the covenants were given! God will never abandon His people Israel, no more than He would ever abandon the Church. We should not abandon Israel either. God has promised to restore the nation of Israel in the last days and we are seeing this right before our own eyes now! The fact that Israel has been regathered to their ancient homeland after nearly 2,200 year in the Diaspora is a sign and a wonder to the world that shows God's faithfulness.

Israel will be a focal point at the return of Jesus, since He will return to set up His Kingdom there.

The Lord has not cut off His people of Israel and neither should we.

The nation of Israel is small, about the size of New Jersey. It is surrounded by nations who hate Israel and some who plot to destroy it. Currently the nation of Syria, which is right above the nation, is in the middle of a civil war. It literally is destroying itself from the inside out and the violence comes extremely close to Israel's northern borders. It is also interesting that a Biblical prophecy concerning the destruction of Damascus in Isaiah 17 has yet to come to pass, and there is extreme violence and uprising in this city currently. Iran, Israel's chief enemy, has joined forces with Syria's leadership and aims to infiltrate the country. This places Iran's forces on the northern border of Israel. Israel is likely surrounded on all sides with countries that would not mind if they weren't there anymore. Christians should show unconditional love and unwavering support for Israel and the Jewish people as Israel is increasingly isolated internationally. This is not a time to abandon the Jewish State. To the contrary, we should do more to show our unconditional love and unwavering support to the people of Israel, no matter what happens.

The Bible teaches that Jesus will return one day and set up His Kingdom in Jerusalem. There will be a major way, the war of God and Magog near the end of time, and then as well the last battle, the battle of Armageddon which will be fought in the Valley of Megiddo in Israel. All these Biblical prophecies are nearing us. If you do not follow Biblical prophecy, now would be a good time to start! Your faith in the Word of God will be strengthened and you will gain a greater sense of urgency to win the lost and an eternal perspective!

I feel the Lord told me to go to Israel. I remember hearing His voice back in December. I was hesitant to tell Husband because we have talked before about it not being safe in the Middle East. Also, I knew we couldn't both go and leave our five children, so I new deep down that I would be going without him. Also, the cost... When I finally told Husband, he prayed about it a few weeks and then knew that I was indeed supposed to go. My sister also received a confirmation in a prophetic dream that my trip was ordained by God. I have a perfect peace about going and know it is in God's plan for my life. When Phoebe expressed desire to go one day, I knew instantly that it was supposed to be that way! Husband having to raise around $12,000.00 for our trips and airline tickets and spending money was steep, but people have helped out so much by supporting Phoebe's trip! We are so grateful!

So Phoebe and I leave Tuesday to go to Israel! I cannot hold by my excitement!!! We will be going with The Joshua Fund, which is a non-profit organization which exists to minister to the people of Israel in many ways, as well as care for the poor and needy Jewish people in Israel. Not only will we get to tour all the incredible sites of the Holy Land, we will also be working with The Joshua Fund to serve the people of Israel! As well, there will be a conference in Jerusalem we will attend which Joel Rosenberg directs, that will inform us of the current situation of Israel and the Middle East, and inform us of ways to pray for Israel.

I believe we are living in the last days. I believe we could see the battle of God and Magog happen in our lifetime. I believe the Rapture of the Church could happen any day now or within our lifetimes. The many signs Jesus gives in the New Testament to look for His return are happening all around us! These are exciting times!!!

These are also crucial times. The condition of the Church in America is not strong. There are many nations rising up against Israel and Iran is building a nuclear bomb to aim at Israel. They want the Jewish people "wiped off the map," and they want the city of Jerusalem for their religion. I don't think there is time left for us to be indecisive or cool about our relationships with God.

I feel like there are major things happening in the supernatural realm. The devil sees the signs and knows his time is running out. To stand with Israel is something I feel called to do and delighted in doing! My heart breaks for the precious Jewish people who do not receive Jesus as their Savior! I want to go there and learn all I can, how to love, how to pray, how to live and walk in a way that I can do all I can to bring about God's Kingdom purposes for the Church and for Israel! I want to see Jewish people love Jesus!

Phoebe will turn 14 in Israel, the day we get baptized in the Jordan River, the same river Jesus was baptized in. Phoebe is such a good daughter. She is precious and loves people and Jesus with all her heart. I know that going on this trip will have profound impacts on her life and her relationship with God. I am also praying she will develop a heart for the Jewish people that she might not ever would've except for going there.

I will be posting updates on this blog while we are there. My heart is that you reading this will develop a strong love for the people of Israel. Also that you would ask God if these are the last days we are living in and surrender yourself to His purposes for your life and not your own desires. Soon we will be with our Creator. He is my King, my Savior, my Lord. I love God with all my heart and am ready to be united with Christ in the Marriage Supper of the Lamb! These are not wacko things I am talking about. These things are in the Bible. I fear that too many people quit reading their Bibles. When we look to the world and pop culture to define our values, dreams, and lives, we are living in a dangerous place. God is stirring up His people, both in the Church and the Jewish people! Keep your eyes open for ways you can share the life of Christ with others. Keep your ears open concerning what is going on with the nation of Israel! Time could be very short. If you knew it was short, how would you live your last days or months on Earth. Make it count!

**For those of you interested in more detailed information on the current state of the Middle East and the relationship between Iran and America and Israel I highly recommend this documentary by Joel Rosenberg. You will be so informed!

12-21-12 Today may be your last....

Could today be the last day of your life? In the last couple of months my life has drastically changed. I've always known about the Rapture. I've seen the frightening 70's film Thief in the Night and Left Behind, and more recently Jerusalem Countdown. I've seen the Rapture scenes and I have believed all my life that I would most certainly "go" in the Rapture. But lately I have started seeing things differently. I no longer am thinking of myself. I have a burden for others.

If I ask all my friends if they know what the Rapture is they all say yes. Most of them were alive in the 80s when many believed it was upon us. Most of you reading this might have even grown weary or leery of even thinking about the Rapture. Like the boy who cried wolf. At one time you were jumping every time you heard "wolf" but now you've learned better. Now you will not fall for those taunts anymore. You know better.

Did you know that before Israel became a nation again and before they gained control of Jerusalem that predictions or excitement about the Rapture being near was premature. So in around 2012 years not until around 50 years ago could people actually start seeing how near the Rapture might be. Is 50 years too long for you to hold out? Time to just throw in the towel and forget about it?

I get excited about stuff. I saw Titanic with Husband TEN times in the theatre! When I find something I like I talk about it. I love Aussie hairspray, Excedrin actually is THE headache medicine in my opinion, everyone should adopt a child, and pink is the greatest color in the world, even though Victoria's Secret has tried to claim it and trash it up. Guess what? There is NOTHING more exciting and worthy of hype then the day that Jesus descends to the clouds and yanks His Bride up out of this world and into His Presence forever. So why aren't we excited about it? Why aren't we passing our excitement onto the younger generations?

There aren't many times in my life I have ever said that I actually feel like the Lord gave me a word. Even though I know I hear from the Holy Spirit and that I am surrendered to His leading, I still stray from using those words because of their overuse in certain circles. But the other day I feel I got a word from God. My heart was so sad because I feel like Christians are not looking to the Rapture and to Eternity. I have found some don't even want to talk about it. Worse, some have quit believing. And God revealed to me that many of His believers love their lives here on earth more than they love His Presence. That we put so much into our lives here on earth...money, time, dreams, goals, children, cars, homes, vacations, jobs, hobbies, status...that we aren't excited about the idea of it all being over in a twinkling of an eye. And that this is one of the main reasons Christians don't think about and prepare for the Rapture.

That hard scripture about anyone coming to Jesus who doesn't hate his father and mother and, gasp, CHILDREN...what does that mean anyway?! Who does that these days? Weirdos? Nuns? Hate their children?!

It's meaning in comparison. Compared to the depth and intimacy that we love Christ. Compared to the devotion we have to Christ. Compared to the DESIRE just to BE in the little smidgen of Presence we can feel down here on Earth of Christ.... Compared to all of that, everything else seems so far away! That's from Jesus' mouth. The same compassionate Person that we all seem to so much more easily identify with of the Trinity. The One who became like us. He said that if we want to be His disciples then we must hate everyone else by comparison. Even our own lives.

Are you looking for the Rapture? Do you believe it's a real event that will happen? Do you have any criteria to base your reason why or why not you feel it could happen soon on?

Do you love your life more than you love the idea of leaving it all behind without a second's notice? Are you ok with that?

My heart aches for the lost. Not until in recent years did I really understand what it meant to have a burden for the lost. Everyday I feel it stronger. I've got something on the inside of me that the lost don't have. And it has changed me and freed me! My heart is torn between wanting to be with Him right now and the Rapture being delayed because of the mercy of God. But I don't believe the reason why people aren't desiring the Rapture is because they are so burdened by the lost. But it's more about their love for their lives.

We cannot change God's plan for the future. He did however give us a guide to it and ample time to prepare. His desire is to make the Heavens and the Earth right again. Forever. The time left for Satan to rule the air is almost up. He can feel it and is fighting hard. What are we fighting for?

The Mayans predicted 12-21-12 would be the end of an era. If you read your Bible you know that it won't be the end of the world because we know that because of the Millennial Reign of Christ, we have at least 1007 years left, counting the Tribulation. So of course I do not believe that the world will end today. But could the Rapture happen today? YES! It could happen ANY day. The Biblical prophecies of Israel becoming a nation, the Jewish people returning to their land, the desert blooming and the wild animals returning...they are all happening. And for those of you whose interest has been sparked, the current hatred towards Israel and the apocalyptic theology of Iran's leaders to fulfill the goal of ushering in their 12th Imam by creating global chaos is pushing us closer a closer to the Biblical timeline of the Rapture, Tribulation, and Millennial Reign of Christ!

I can barely sleep at night! It's a countdown in my eyes! My time on this Earth is almost done. God has laid out a plan for His people and His creation and the book of Revelation is our map. Things are beginning to happen. Will you be a scoffer or will you humble yourself before God on this exciting date in history and see if it's time a new era in your life begin. A new ear that is not about you, but about God's purposes for your life in this day and age.

Are you ready? Or do you still battle with unforgiveness, habitual sin, gossip, insecurity, self-pity? Yes, we will always have things to overcome! But those things, even poor health, are not to be our focus while we are here on Earth! There are many hurting people that need to feel, see, and hear the undeniable LOVE OF CHRIST right now. If we really believe that our time is short here, then are we living like it?

What are we waiting for?

What regrets would you have if the Rapture happened now?

Are you sure your heart is in a right place to meet Christ face to face?

Who goes in the Rapture? People who say they are Christians and go to church occasionally? People who have an intimate relationship with Jesus? Anyone who has ever made a decision at any point in their life to follow God? All the nice people? These are things that we should all think about.

The thought of Christ scooping me up to be part of His spotless Bride, and sitting down at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb, keeps me up at night!!! Y'all, it's REAL! It's going to happen! Whether you believe it or not! Whether you are looking for it or not! Whether you are ready or not!

12-21-12. A new era! No more life as usual. I'm never going back to the way I was! I am going to live whole-heartedly to make my time on this Earth matter. Loving people. Helping people. Bringing others to Christ! And I'll gladly give it up the second I see the clouds part for me! I'm ready! Today, Come Lord Jesus! But if you give me another day, I'll thank You for having mercy one more day as more people come to know you, Lord!


Revelation 22 (The Message)

12-13 “Yes, I’m on my way! I’ll be there soon! I’m bringing my payroll with me. I’ll pay all people in full for their life’s work. I’m A to Z, the First and the Final, Beginning and Conclusion.

14-15 “How blessed are those who wash their robes! The Tree of Life is theirs for good, and they’ll walk through the gates to the City. But outside for good are the filthy curs: sorcerers, fornicators, murderers, idolaters—all who love and live lies.

16 “I, Jesus, sent my Angel to testify to these things for the churches. I’m the Root and Branch of David, the Bright Morning Star.”

17 “Come!” say the Spirit and the Bride.
Whoever hears, echo, “Come!”
Is anyone thirsty? Come!
All who will, come and drink,
Drink freely of the Water of Life!
18-19 I give fair warning to all who hear the words of the prophecy of this book: If you add to the words of this prophecy, God will add to your life the disasters written in this book; if you subtract from the words of the book of this prophecy, God will subtract your part from the Tree of Life and the Holy City that are written in this book.

20 He who testifies to all these things says it again: “I’m on my way! I’ll be there soon!”

Yes! Come, Master Jesus!

21 The grace of the Master Jesus be with all of you. Oh, Yes!

Fighting with the Choir

I recently read this article by Kristen Howerton about how women can fight with each other about so many things that are unnecesary, but yet we should all be instead waging a war to fight for children's safety and futures! It's like women have to pick apart every other thing that other women around them are doing. I can remember when I had my first baby this one friend of mine went on and on about babywise. How her perfect child slept through the night and how perfect her life is. Me, having a child who gagged in the hospital and continued to act like she was choking to death the first year of her life AND developed excema at 4 months and scratched her head until she bled, I was doing ALL I COULD to hold it together and not pull a Marie Osmond and take off driving up the coast without telling anyone for four days!

The next child that same friend had, guess what? Babywise didn't work on this child. Same schedule, same procedures. But it didn't work. I can remember my friend saying how wrong she was to tell everyone that it would work on anyone. I appreciated her humility. It just frustrates me so much how women can tear each other down. It starts young.

But I see this same thing happening in the Body of Christ. Howerton's article was entitled The Only Mommy War Worth Waging. There is an only Christian war worth waging. Winning the lost. For so many Americans when you are a life-long Christian after you learn all about God and the Bible and you get to know everyone in your church then you sometimes can get bored. And when you get bored you have to either rebel to have fun, or you start critiquing the people around you...who are Christians...because you've been a Christian for so long. So then you can get caught up in this horrible game of judging everyone around you. How they raise their children, what foods they eat, what church they go to church, when they go to church, if they speak in tongues, if they play baseball on Sundays, if they eat at All-You-Can-Eat buffets at casinos, if they bring their Bible to church or use the Bible app on their iPhone. Get the picture. Gee, the possible discussions and disagreements are endless! Certainly able to keep us busy and totally NON-BORED until Jesus comes back!

Our good friend Aaron Stern, pastor of Mill City Church (www.millcitychurch.org) in Fort Collins, Colorado, helped me understand something I had been struggling with.  He said that when someone gives their life to Christ, we figuratively give people two bags.  He would first give them a little bag.  In the little bag would be all the non-negotiables of Christianity.  Things like salvation only through Jesus, the infallibility of God's Word, the triune nature of God, etc.  You get the picture.  In the second and much bigger bag would be other things that the person wouldn't need to concern themselves with immediately as they just got born again.  This big bag contains things that differ between denominations and churches.  Things like healing, tongues, predestination, etc. The second bag is full of subjects that can have more than one conclusion. Even though there may be differing conclusions, they come from a responsible handling of Scripture. The things in the small bag are worth fighting over and the things in the big bag are not worth losing your Christianity or friends and family over! The size of each bag is important, because if we fill the non-negotiable bag with things that belong in the second bag we can end up fighting over things that are discussible with the same passion for those that aren't.

This makes SO MUCH SENSE TO ME!!!! It helped me so much. Most of my family and friends from my childhood attend Baptist churches or other denominational churches. After I went to ORU most of my friends went to non-denominational churches. But in those non-denominational churches there are SO many different churches with different styles and mission statements and...big bags.

I'm sure the world must just laugh and make fun of the Body of Christ the way we bicker with each other. We can certainly see it in the way they make fun of us in Hollywood and the music industry. I know that when Jesus returns for His bride that we have GOT to look different than we look right now. And it sometimes scares me to remember that the times that people have come together and worked in like mind and heart is greatest during great tragedies. I wonder if that's what will happen to the Body of Christ. Will it take something devastating to draw us closer?

I've made a decision that I'm not going to get caught up in the game of fighting with other Christians! Done. I'm over it and have wasted time in my life concerned about what others have in their big bag. The only Christian war worth fighting is winning the lost.

The other day as I was driving to my sister's house and reflecting on tragic circumstances of some dear Christians I know and how bad things happen to good people who love God, I had a revelation. I imagined God in Heaven looking down on every person ever made. He saw me. He put a check by my name. Amy Renee Bass, check! And He kept looking at the rest of His children. None loved more than any other, but all loved to the greatest measure. And I thought about the parable of the lost sheep. It's not that He loved me any less than the stray sheep, but that His eye is on that one to bring him back into the flock. Jesus came for this reason. To seek and save the lost. And it was almost as if I could hear my Heavenly Father saying- You get it! You are mine and I am yours. You love me. You serve me. You get it! Eternal salvation is yours! As if in response to my thoughts about why horrible tragedies happen to firm believers. (No matter how much I believe, and do not doubt God, every time a great tragedy occurs, a young person dies, I always find myself a bit shocked that it couldn't have been prevented by God.) And so I just had this thought, Why can't we as Christians just be grateful for our eternal salvation. Isn't that enough? What an incredible gift we have been given. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus! But yet it's so hard not to continually ask God for MORE MORE MORE. More protection, more love, more money, more clothes, more houses, more cars, more grace, more healing, more chances, more breath. We cannot forget that we have already been given MORE than we could ever ask for. Eternal salvation.

And since I am so grateful that my name is written in His precious book, then my heart wants to help Him with His mission. Winning the lost. Winning the lost. Winning the lost. Not fighting over churches and mini-skirts and Lady Gaga. Winning the Lost. I have to be honest and say that I have found myself in such frustrated states that I have asked Husband for YEARS now to move our family overseas. China, Africa, just for starters. I've begged him and told him that I just want to get away from the way the Body of Christ looks in America. And I just want to help bring people to God through Christ. I think about Mother Teresa. What an honorable life! I've asked him to just move us to India and let me help the people there as she did. To raise our children in a drastically different atmosphere than American popular culture today. But Husband reminds me that to go overseas because I want to get away from America is not a good reason to go. And he is right. I don't want to run from America or the American church. I want to be able to love and live here without getting into discussions about Katy Perry or the Gospel of Grace and getting upset.

Nothing will matter when we step into Eternity except our decision to accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior and the people in our lives that we touched. And maybe my problem is I don't have enough lost friends. My life is so busy with school and kids and church that I will have to make a concerted effort to change this. But I'm all in. For life. Winning the lost. Being a light for His good news to spread. LOVE. Love. Love.

Winning the lost. The only Christian war worth waging.

Is Your Secret Hurting You and Others?

I want to recommend a book that my dear friend Aaron Stern just wrote. It's such an interesting topic and I feel it's so needed in Christian circles today if we want to see true healing come to the Body of Christ. Aaron is a scholar and avid reader and researcher. The book is full of wisdom.

It's called What's Your Secret? and you can order it here.

And here is the link to Aaron's blog, one of my favorite blogs I keep up with.

Cloudy People Are Most Beautiful

I love watching the sky, looking at weather radar, looking at the forecast, predicting the forecast. I love it. Husband says I should have been a meteorologist. I say, I AM! So many times we can get so busy that we never look up. The sky is so untouched by man. It's like it is God's canvas everyday that He decides what it will look like.



We moved into our current home 2 years ago. Where we lived the 11 years before we could not see the sunset. Here we see the sun set every night. It captures us. Often one of us will holler for the others to run to the window or outside and look at the sun setting. Sometimes there are colors in it that remind me of Heaven because they are not familiar to me here on earth. When I look at sun sets the only thing I can think of is GOD!

So over the years I've realized something. Sunsets are WAY more beautiful when it is a cloudy day. Have you noticed that? It's true. The patterns of the clouds, the shadows, the reflections, the drama!

This morning I saw the clouds in a way I have never ever witnessed before. It took me and my son Robert back! We just stared in amazement. WOW. The clouds were draping in a way that looked like....well I don't know! I cannot describe it. I took a photo, but they never do the real sky justice (just like watching online church or a video never conveys the Presence of the Holy Spirit the same as if you are there).
This is what our sky looked like this morning!




When I was looking at the beauty of the sky God spoke to my heart that often times the most beauty in life is found in the midst of clouds. In life when we are going through hard times and feel hidden by gloominess and such, the way we respond to the circumstances and to God can be more beautiful than ever. And the scars in our life from past battles fought only paint a more unique and radiant sky for others to be blessed by. It is not in our perfection that others see Christ, but in our weaknesses when we gain our strength from Him.

Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

The older I get the more I dread flying but I still enjoy one part...going above the clouds. Once we went up through dark dreary clouds and once we got above them the sun shone so brightly everyone had to lower their shades. I glanced back down to land and noticed the dreadful looking storm clouds. I just thought that everyone down there is only seeing the bad but up here it is still so beautiful. So I teach my kids that no matter what it looks like to us, when we see life from God's grand perspective above it never changes. He is still the same. He is still shining brightly in our lives, even when the storms of life hide our perfect view. It's then when we have to live by faith...knowing that the SON is still shining even though more difficult to see!


There is a song that is popular on Christian radio right now called Blessings by Laura Story.


We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the achings of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

It reminds me of the part in Francis Chan's book Crazy Love where he talks about how we pray for protection like it is the greatest thing. But what we should really pray for is for God to use us and our lives so greatly that our protection isn't our greatest concern.

Really, who says that the perfect life is a protected one. Who says that perfection is living a long life? Who says that perfection is complete health without tragedy. The fact of life is that bad things happen. To everyone. One day that will no longer be the case. But tragedy and tears will not be avoided in life by any of us. But who says that has to ruin the day...ruin our lives?? The sunset of our lives can be breathtakingly beautiful if we allow God to take our scars and fears and tragedies and pain and shine through us.

If you look at Jesus or his disciples' lives, did they have it easy? Are we to assume that our lives will be easy and free of pain just because we deserve it as God's children? I don't think comfort is God's best for us. We don't learn until we make mistakes usually. We usually aren't grateful for what we have until it is taken away. We are futile men and God is sovereign and holy and omnipotent. We just have to TRUST that He is working it out for our good....

Romans 8:28
The Message (MSG)
26-28Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

No matter what the Son is always shining. Do you believe that? If we do then we will be thankful in every season of our life.

12 Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. 13 Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world. 1 Peter 4:12-19

Other songs of interest: Bring It On by Steven Curtis Chapman and Praise You In this Storm by Casting Crowns. Love them.

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The Day We Got Our Daughters...

GOTCHA DAY!- February 13, 2011!

Taken from morehopeforus.blogspot.com

Today we get our two Chinese daughters!

Today they will be given to us and tomorrow they will be legally ours! Today is One of the greatest days of my life and the greatest day of the Hook family of five! No one can sleep. I guess it is jet lag but mixed in is the excitement of this day! Phoebe just came to me and said she is so excited she can't sleep and that she wonders if Lily will run to her and hug her or be shy. I just thought of the day we told Phoebe we were adopting. She was seven years old. Robert was three and not old enough to know or care. Johnny was about to be 2. So we told Phoebe by herself in her room one night before bed. We prefaced it by telling her about orphans not having parents and a family. We told her there are millions of children like this all over the world and even in America. As her little tiny expressive face began to understand the horror of an orphan's reality, especially in relation to her own, we proudly told her that we were going to go to China and get one and make them part of our family forever. In a split second response, her precious face squinched up in confusion and she spoke two words I will never forget, "Just one?" Daniel and I laughed and both realized the purity of a child's heart and the simple response that comes from love. Love doesn't reason. Love doesn't weigh pros and cons. Love doesn't consider cost an issue. Love responds. Love moves. Love (if I say is a verb will I make this moment any less sincere! Lol!) Yes, love is a verb! Love has been cheapened to something that doesn't resemble our Father's love. But by looking into the eyes of a child we can still find it in it's purest form. And today, at 11, my little Phoebe still has that pure heart. And we aren't getting "just one!" We are getting two! Two lives forever changed! By LOVE! Adoption amazes me. It's the heart of God! I'm so grateful to be a part of God's plan for Ning Li and Xiao Dan's lives! I 'm honored to be their mamma!

So today at 5:11 am in Beijing as I write this I'm also thankful for my incredible husband that said YES to TWO as well! Who has worked 18 hours a day for months preparing for this trip! And also for carrying whimpering AND crying Johnny thru the entire 2 and a half hour frigid tour of Tienanmen Square today! : ) And Rob in his many words of wisdom just two days back home, woke up early and went to Husband and explained to him, that the reason our adoption took so long was so that we would get Lily! And he's right because if the backlog hadn't occurred we never would've considered special needs first and then we would've not met Lily and gotten to adopt TWO! What a great big little brother he will be for Lily! (He also turned to Husband before take off from Seattle and said, "Dad, I got a good feelin this is gonna be a great 12 hour flight!") And Johnny in his own way is so excited about being here to get Hope and Lily. It's all he's ever known. That one day we'd go get his Chinese sister from China! And his heart is so sweet! Just the other day we were watching Animal Hoarders (hey, we were snowed in for two weeks!) and when Johnny watched a sweet old man's story who had 60 chickens in his house Johnny asked, "Mom, is this in real life?" I said yes. He said, "We need to help that man." I know that's a funny story to tell but Johnny was serious and sad for the man and he felt compassion for him. And you know what? Orphans are in real life. They aren't just a religious TV show on we change the channel on. There are millions of Hopes and Lilys! And compassion moves us to act just like the compassion Jesus had on the crowds of people who followed him. And now we have that living inside of us as believers! And that's how the world sees Jesus! Through us! Christianity just isn't a world religion. Christianity is a verb. Christianity responds! It MOVES! I cannot say it enough. We are so grateful to everyone who loves and supported and gave to us to get us to this day!!!! We could not have done it without you. The cost reached over $55,000 with my trip Last summer included and the high cost to get our whole family here in the middle of Chinese New Year (the most expensive time to travel here!) I do not feel like this is the Hook family adoption. It's OUR adoption! To everyone reading this! You have moved out of compassion to change these girls' lives! And it's about to happen! Can u believe it? Yay!!!! I'm not scared or nervous! I am just READY!!!!! I've dreamed of "Gotcha Day" for years. I've watched perfectly edited YouTube videos of glorious moments when the child was given to the adoptive parents with a tear jerking Steven Curtis Chapman song playing in the background. I've waited so long for OUR moment! But right here right now I couldn't care less about that! Just give them to me!!!! Lol!!!!! I don't care if they scream and cry or run and hide! I am ready to be their mamma! (Of course, adri will be capturing the moment on her iPhone so don't get worried!!! We will take whatever moment we get and share it with y'all!!!)

To be continued.... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so glad i cry everyday...

excerpt from my adoption blog

I usually don't cry very easily. Except when the song "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me comes on (yes, still i gets me, even after the billionth time)....it's hard to catch me crying. But that isn't the case lately. In fact, I cannot hold back the tears these days. I've never been OPPOSED to crying (although it does somewhat annoy me that lots of women are cry babies), it's just that I could separate the emotion or not even be bothered by the emotion. Some people have even called me UNSENTIMENTAL! (lol, it's true, I am unsentimental). But right now my heart is mush. In a good way though.

I always dreamed about the trip to get my adopted Chinese daughter. Would I like the way she smelled? Would she be somewhat attractive? Would I like her instantly? How long would it take for me to FEEL like she was my daughter? How long would it take for me to love her like Phoebe, Rob and Johnny? How different would the love for an adopted child be compared to the love I have for my babies I birthed?

These were questions that I thought...and Daniel and I MAYBE mentioned a bit....but since they all seemed to be a bit negative, it wasn't a hot topic. We just trusted that it would all work out. And in time, we would feel like they were really our daughters.

Well, it has worked out just fine and way ahead of schedule. Because the love I have for them is amazing and overwhelming to me. I love those two little Chinese girls with all my heart. And I am not posting this to boast or draw attention to me in a noble way that I could love an orphan or anything. In fact, I take absolutely no credit and I just wanted to write this because I am in awe of what God has done in me. I always knew He'd give us the grace to do this, and that He would help us love these girls as our OWN. But He has changed my heart. I am not the mother of three children. I am the mother of five. I would do anything for them. All five of them.

When I talk about our adoption and Lily and Hope and how much I love them I often feel like I am looking at myself or not even myself. When someone might say they are excited for me, I just think, yes, I am excited for me too! When someone says how great it is that we are adopting them I think yes! It is so great! When someone says how they are going to have such a great life and they are so blessed to be in our family I think, YES! They are blessed. Cause we will do anything for them. and we are happy together, me and Daniel! I don't take ANY credit for any of this. God began this work in me. He drew me to the idea of adoption. He sent me to China. He put Lily and Hope so deep in me that I could never get them apart from me.

It's a miracle really. Adoption is a miracle. We love our biological kids for many reasons. We carried them, we gave birth to them. They remind us of ourselves, except cuter. We would do anything to reproduce a little miracle that is part of us and our spouse. And I share in all those feelings. Every one of them. But have you ever considered if you could love a child that didn't look or act or smell like you? And did you just think that you could never do that....and you wonder how others can??? Well, I am telling you that the reason I can is because of God. He is our Provider. His Heart is pure and true and for the orphans. And when He calls someone to adopt, He gives them every resource they need. I believe that now. He is for me. He is for Daniel. He is for Lily and He is for Hope. He will help us raise these girls. He will help us love them they way they deserve. He will help us show them the way to eternal life through Him.

I just write in awe of Him. I am nothing but an empty vessel. A crying empty vessel at that. I cry because two of my children are away from me. I haven't seen them in 7 months. It's been too long. I have faith. My faith has been strengthened. I think I passed the test....or at least failed it and retook it. But now I think I got an A plus. I believe. I believe He will complete this work! I believe He will provide the money we need. I believe He will provide the medical care and surgeries. I believe He will help me to be the mother to Hope and Lily that HE would want me to be. I believe I can organize my house for five children. I believe I can cook more to save money and make my own soap like the Duggar lady!!!! Actually, that's not true. I will never make my own soap. Besides Chantel already told me that if I could ever not afford soap she would buy it for me. : )

I am happy and blessed and full of faith! Even if I cry everyday!

November 22, 2009: The Day My Fears Died

It's been one year since my pastor Billy Joe Daugherty left this earth and stepped into Eternity at age 57. Forever I will remember where I was the moment I heard the news that he had indeed passed. I was in my bed, trying to sleep. Having been up all night, much like the previous two months, taking the graveyard shift praying with friends and strangers in the prayer room at our church, and then trying to sleep a few moments during the day. We had such a powerful prayer time that night before. There were over a hundred people in the prayer room, brought together by one purpose only, to pray for this beloved man to rise up and have his life and health restored to him. I felt the Presence of God in that room more than I had ever before in my life that night. Surely it was real. Surely it wasn't pure hype and emotion. Surely our prayers had reached Heaven and been found pleasing to God. So when I went to bed that morning I felt strongly that there had been a major shift in the night. A breakthrough!!! I just knew it.

When Daniel came up beside me that morning and said my name, I just knew by his voice what he was going to tell me. I didn't even look at him. I just buried my face in my pillow. No. I didn't want to hear it. It could not be true. Not after the night of prayer and praise we had just had seeking God. I couldn't believe it.

I reminded me too much of the same early morning that my own daddy left earth at age 45 seventeen years ago. How my mom and my two sisters just crawled into bed together and closed our eyes and cried ourselves to sleep. The exhaustion. Of holding on. Of believing. Of having your whole life uprooted and twisted into despair and trying to hold your head up.

My greatest fear as a child was one of my parents dying. Grey hair scared me. I did not want my parents getting old and closer to death. My daddy was my security. He was the perfect daddy to me. He was big and strong and burly and wise and funny. He brought blankets to me when I was cold and turned on my fan for me at night in the summertime to make sure I was cool. He filled my car up with gas so I never had to. He gave me money in case of an emergency. He told me I was beautiful and smart and talented and I never once doubted it. He was my security.

When my daddy passed I wondered what I'd do. Where would my security come from? Who would take care of me? Who would take care of my sweet pretty momma?! I left that summer to come to Tulsa and ORU because I knew God was leading me to (although I came home on weekends more than any other person at ORU just to check on Mom). Shortly after getting to ORU I found Victory...and Pastor Billy Joe.

Pastor Billy Joe became a father figure to me. He became my spiritual security. Over the years at ORU I leaned on my church and Pastor Billy Joe and Sharon's messages. I became secure in my spiritual life. I became strong. Pastor Billy Joe took care of me in a sense. He has challenged me for 17 years to live better and love God and others more. He has guided me through many tough times helping me to focus on the "main thing." His optimism, his faith, his gentleness, his love, his presence....all shaped me into the person I am today. There is no better man on earth I found to sit under their spiritual leadership and scrutinize than Billy Joe Daugherty. He was found to be stable, true, and pure in every area of his life.

Dad and Pastor Billy Joe both took care of me in a sense. They both were the most influential people in my life, along with my mom. They both left this earth early.

When my dad passed I stared my greatest fear dead in the face. I didn't panic, I didn't scream, I didn't go crazy. I didn't rebel, I didn't give up. I amazingly just went on. So easily that I would often forget such tragedy had struck my life when I heard of other friends losing a parent and I'd wonder how on earth they could make it without them. It was grace from God, no doubt. I thought that if I could survive my greatest fear happening and still manage to live a happy, well adjusted faith filled life, then I could handle anything!

When Pastor Billy Joe passed...it was different. My physical security wasn't taken away, it was my spiritual security. It was as if everything I had every believed and everything that he had ever spoken was up for grabs...being challenged. Would it stand the test? The grieving and mourning process for Pastor Billy Joe was harder than it was for my own father. My daddy had been through so much pain that when I saw him take the last breath I was almost relieved that he could just go to Heaven with God. No more working. No more having to pay bills. No more headaches. But call me selfish, I was not able to let Pastor Billy Joe go as easily. For days after I heard of his passing I believed for resurrection. It wasn't until the memorial service that Daniel and I actually faced the fact that he was gone from this earth for good.

Months of morning him. Months of crying my eyes out in church week after week after week. Months of missing him and searching for answers. I realized that he had become my security. And now I had to stand on my own two spiritual feet and make the decision. Was I gonna abandon my faith? Was I gonna change my theology? Or was I gonna dig my heels deep and say I'm not going anywhere. This is where I belong. Smack dab in the middle of believing God does the impossible.

I believe in healing. I believe in the SAME SCRIPTURES that we stood on, that we prayed, that we read out loud HUNDREDS of times in those last two months of my pastor's life here. I believe in the Word of God. I believe God heals today and raises the dead. I believe that NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. And I always will.

I didn't think I feared anything after my dad passed. Nothing really got to me. I am not a worrier. I don't get scared or uptight about things. I just know that anyone can adjust and change and learn to live without someone else in their life and that life isn't worth quitting for any reason at all. But before that day a year ago today, I realized that I had still feared that God's Word was not true. That we might have it wrong. November 22, 2009 was the day my fears died. All those fears have dissipated since that day. I am no longer afraid. I can face every day with the Word of God knowing that it is true. I know my God loves me and works all things out for my good as I trust Him. I can see His mighty Hand upon the Daugherty family and my church and I am in awe of Him and His goodness and grace.

God doesn't have to prove anything to me for me to love and believe Him. But He does every day. Everyday when I walk closer to him since these two tragedies I feel His love. I feel stronger. When I see the way Pastor Sharon has led our church in the midst of turmoil and how the joy of the Lord is her strength it makes me love Jesus more! It makes me so proud to serve the only true God Who makes a way, Who redeems, Who binds the broken hearted, Who gives hope to the hopeless. I will stand for Him if no one else does. I will never go back on my decision to deny myself and follow God. I am His and He is mine. Forever.

And ALL my security is in HIM ALONE. Right where He wanted it. And I will never fear again. Because I know one day I'll see Him face to face and none of this will matter....only that I never stopped believing.

When the going get's tough, change your beliefs.

What do I believe and why? That's what I started to ask myself a few years ago. And I started writing it down. About everything from healing and other theological doctrines to environmental causes and style. I've always been a person who lived with intention and by a set belief system. I know I'm always learning and growing, but even so, I live according to my convictions and the Word of God. In my eyes, if you don't know what you believe and why, then you will be tossed to and fro in this earth trying to please others and being a different person around different people. When I was young I would do that. I would feel the need to alter my behavior and personality around others so that they would like me more.

When you have a set belief system you will often find yourself disagreeing with others who don't share those same beliefs. What's so bad about that? Why are people so afraid to disagree? And when your belief system and convictions are based upon the Word of God and by the Holy Spirit you will absolutely find yourself being the odd man out.

I think when the going gets tough for us, it's human nature to protect ourselves. So the easiest way to get through the tough situation is to alter our beliefs. Last year when my pastor went to heaven it threw me for quite a loop. After all, I believe in healing. I believe in miracles. But what I prayed for didn't happen. I didn't see the miracle I was wanting to. In his life or my own father's. And for a few weeks or months I toyed with the idea of throwing all I believed in out the window. Starting over. Isn't that what we do? In our relationships. In our lives. Take the easy route. If we don't like our church we switch. And then when we don't like that one anymore we switch again. And people leave their spouses and move on to the next because it feels right. But what does that really accomplish in the end?

After I got my flesh out of the way last year I was able to realize that just because life got harder and just because something I wanted to happen didn't happen wasn't any reason to change my beliefs. It would have been easier. Because now I can't explain everything. I have to say I DON'T KNOW and be ok with that.

I've found that the goal in my life is not to understand all the reasons why or to have an easy time. Running from hard times does nothing but make me a coward. Changing myself as the wind blows makes me a double minded person. Choosing the easy route and the one that feels good and is the most fun isn't the road to life. Why does God say the road is narrow? If a road is narrow then that must mean its not very popular, right? It's not very popular these days to deny your flesh and take up your cross and follow Him, is it? It's not very popular to life your life for others. To consider others and how it might affect them...

When I was younger I felt like there wasn't enough liberty in my walk with God. I didn't feel like I knew how to freely and uninhibited worship and express my love for my God to others or to Him. I am thankful for my family, my church and for ORU where I met precious people who loved God with pure hearts and showed me a side of Christianity that I had not seen before. But now I see too much of the opposite in the world today, and even in the Christian realm. It's like people have taken the words free in Christ and used them selfishly. Freedom in Christ doesn't mean freedom to do what you want.

John Bevere has a wonderful book Under Cover which talks about submitting to authority. It seems like we've forgotten how to submit to authority....because we are free, right? And no one's gonna MAKE me do anything! But that's not how Jesus acted. And that's not what the Bible tells us to do. When we cannot submit to our parents, the government, our pastors, our children's teachers, etc., then how on earth are we supposed to know how to submit to God. It's something that has to be taught to a child. When the parent's don't require the child to submit to elders, or when the parents themselves rebel against leadership and the children see it, then the children grow up thinking that submission to God is lousy and no fun and bondage.

I am not a slave to legalism. But you know what. There are rules in life. There are laws we have to follow when we drive. There are spiritual laws that we cannot see. There are rules at school. Rules and laws aren't always bad. Why do people think so? You can see a police car on the freeway and be relieved that it's there to help you or feel mad because it's trying to catch you breaking the law.....what's the difference? It's in the way you see it.

I feel like the more I study God's Word the easier it is for me to keep my mouth shut and submit to rules and authority I don't agree with. I speak out plenty.....I've never been afraid to speak out against injustice....but I'm not talking about injustice here. But I don't see my life as it for me. My life truly begins when I meet my Father face to face where I will spend eternity based on my life here. I guess if you see it differently then you might seek out pleasure and ease while here on earth. My focus has never been on trying to earn God's love through the law, although I do want to please Him and I do strive to please Him everyday. My focus has never been ease or pleasure but on applying the Word of God to my daily life. And because of that, I have true joy. Happiness is based on circumstance. Joy is from within regardless. I love my life. I love hearing from God things I need to change and grow in. I love seeing God change me every year and making me more like Him. I love stuffing my desires down and seeking after His heart. It satisfies me. It fulfills me. It renews me.

There is a difference between peace and pacification. Peace lasts. Pacification doesn't. I realized this a few years ago after I went to see a movie that I was really excited about seeing. Fun times! Snacks, a movie, me and husband on a date. Went to see a stupid movie. Later than night I thought, OK, now that's over. What next? Because it did nothing for me. Isn't it funny how we can look from thing to thing, party to party, movie to movie, holiday to holiday, trip to trip, meal to meal, for satisfaction but it doesn't last long.

There are gaps and holes and moments and decisions that can only be filled with God and submitting to Him. And when I've done that I find myself content. And I suddenly don't have to prove my point, make sure the other knows I was right, come out on top, or be the life of the party. I suddenly don't place fun at the top of my list, seeking out the world and Hollywood to entertain me. It is a strange and easy contentment that brings me peace and joy.

So I've made up my mind that I'm gonna stick to what I know is true even when it's not convenient or popular. I'm gonna life my life based upon beliefs and convictions not because it feels good. I'm not gonna run to the world to forget about my life and my problems only to find them waiting for me when I return. And when the going get's tough, I'm gonna be firmly grounded. Even if the road is narrow.

Jimmie is love

My sister Chantel, or Jimmie, as I've called her for about 20 years now, had a birthday today. People are always amazed at how well we get along. It's sad to me that sisters that love each other unconditionally AND who get along are uncommon these days. But Jimmie and I get along great. And we get along with my other sister too. But since it's Jimmie's birthday today I thought I'd honor her by this post.

Chantel is the middle sister. We've always been close. We were always together. We cheered together, played basketball together, watched NBA basketball together, watched movies like Elvis and Me and Eddie and the Cruisers a million times. We had fun that's for sure. She would beg me to come clean her room or at least sit on her bed while she cleaned it. We just had fun. In fact, no one in the world can make me laugh more than my two sisters and my mom.

I think why we get along so well is because we just let each other be. No expectations. A lot of grace. If there is a doubt, the other gets the benefit. If there was a mistake, the other is forgiven instantly. I mean, you can't get rid of your family, right??? So forigive em now or on your deathbed...it's an easy choice.

We were young and wild and free in high school. Then Chantel went to college. And then I went to college...but at one point we were both living back at home commuting to college. I remember how much she studied in nursing school. I'd go to bed and then wake up and she'd still be at the kitchen table studying. What a drag I thought! But Jimmie turned out to be the best nurse ever. She even won Employee of the Month at her hospital in Dallas! She'd make bulletin boards to improve work moral and to show the love of Christ. She has always seen needs and FILLED them. No questions of cost of money or time, just did it. She is compassionate.

When we were little she'd cry in the boat after we caught fish so Dad would make us throw them back in. What a drag! Ha. She cried when we poured salt on the snails (that was mean). She took in EVERY NEIGHBORHOOD CAT that needed a home (at one point we had over 20 cats....all named...and yes we could tell them apart...and no they were not inside cats). Dad LOVED Chantel's heart. He called her Sha-boog. Who knows why....but it was a sweet name of love. He would always look out for Chantel. Everyone else would speak up and speak out, and Chantel would always say, it doesn't matter. So he'd make everyone stop and be quiet and want to hear what Chantel had to say.

Chantel was the best basketball player ever! She had moves like Kevin McHale. We were quiet the team. I'd bring the ball down the court and look for her first...cause she was the best...and cause she is my sister! She was all-district, all-state, all-star, you name it. But what she wasn't was mean on the court. Dad would say, "Cmon Chantel you gotta get your game face on. Throw some elbows. Bow up. Don't let that girl push you around!" She was as good as a player could be without getting mean! LOL!

We had babies together...staggering them, but then also having our boys Wesley and Robert just 5 months apart. Our husbands weren't sure that was such a good idea...us both being pregnant together. We pick up each other's slack. We pick up each others kids. We pick up each others' houses.

Jimmie treats everyone the same. She oblivious to what clothes people wear or what car they drive. She sees people's heart. She sees people the way God sees them. She seeks out the underdog, the meek, and she anonymously touches their lives in beautiful ways. I know a lot about her...but I'm sure I don't even know half of all the things she's done for others. Many things maybe only her and God know. Their special secrets.

The only times in my life I've ever really been frustrated at Jimmie is when I feel like she lets people run over her. I think it's her personality, her compassion, her character, that lets some well meaning people feel like they can say and do things to her they'd never say or do to someone else. We've had to give each other pep talks before handy men came or such to remind ourselves that we can stand up for ourselves without being mean. And so many times she's kept her mouth shut when others have done her wrong. I'd want to call the person up and tell them how Chantel gave so much to them and they'd had taken advantage of her, but she never let me. She's not out for justice or revenge or others knowing she's right and they were wrong. She just loves and lets God take care of the rest. And she never stops giving. And touching others' lives.

When I was younger I used to think Chantel just needed to be tougher....you know, stand up for herself. Speak her mind more when she feels like someone did her wrong. Because that's what we do right. We set people straight. We don't let anyone tell us what to do or make us feel uncomfortable. Hmmm. Maybe we've got it backwards. What did Jesus mean when the last shall be first? What did Jesus mean when he said the meek will inherit the earth? What does the Bible mean when it says a "broken and contrite heart?' You know what, Jimmie reminds me of Jesus. He didn't have to go around proving how strong He was. And you know what, to be able to love unconditionally and forgive when not asked to and to hold your tongue and not feel the need to defend or build yourself up....well, actually that is strength. In fact, it is the greatest strength of all. It's the same strength Jesus displayed on His time on earth.

And you know what, shouldn't we all be like Jesus. Shouldn't we all try to be like Jimmie! Love our neighbor as ourself. When I read this in First Corinthians I think of Chantel...

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

That Scripture IS Chantel. Chantel IS this Scripture. Jimmie IS love!

What would cause someone to do such a thing?

Years ago I found out about this family who adopted a child who is disabled. I watched them bring him to events, park his wheelchair, and then carry on as normal. He looked younger than their other two children and I wondered why they adopted him. I mean, I had always wanted to adopt (and as you know we are) but not a child in a wheelchair. What could that boy possibly offer to that family, right? By adopting him they just added more work to their lives...and just when their other children looked old enough to get easier to take care of. Hmmm. I was puzzled.

Fast forward to June 21, 2010. I find myself in an orphanage on the other side of the world full of special needs children. At first I was scared. Really scared. Daniel and I had just made the decision after being on the non-special needs list of China for almost three years to switch to the special needs program, or waiting child program as some say. So here I was on a mission trip surrounded by children that met that criteria. Yikes! Did we really make the right decision? I mean, some of the children were completely handicapped and others' medical condition China would not even allow them to be adopted. That night I went back to my hotel room and found myself in a fog. I wanted to go home to safety, to my three healthy children, to my nice home and tell Daniel we should change our mind.

Now looking back to write this, I remember very clearly what was running through my head. But now it's hard for me to even comprehend my thought process because it changed so drastically in those next two days. As I spent time with the children and got to know them I no longer saw their "special needs." Well, I should say I saw their needs, but they didn't make me feel uncomfortable anymore. It was familiar and I felt at home. I can remember playing with a little boy with cerebral palsy. He is one of the children that I really bonded with. He's 12 years old. Once he turns 14 he can no longer be adopted according to Chinese law. I imagined me bringing him home. I imagined him going places with my kids, playing games with cousins, swimming! I imagined him GOING OUTSIDE, something I'm not sure he has ever done. Going to school! To learn! What I didn't imagine is if it would be difficult, exhausting, or expensive. Because while I was there none of that mattered. What if I he could ask me to adopt him? What would I say? Well, sweet little boy, I would adopt you and take you out of this institution forever to live with my fun, happy, loving family in America but I think you would mess up our plans. You have so many needs, and you are 12! We want a little baby that can't remember anything troublesome. And you can't speak English. Plus, we can't afford your medical care. We have to think about not ruining our children's lives by bringing in an orphan with so many needs. Sorry.

That is sad. Really sad. And while I was there I didn't think like that, returning home, back to "reality" (or is it?) I find myself pondering things that are close to the sadness above. I remember one night in China sending Daniel a text that read, "If we didn't think about all the what ifs in life it would be so easy to make decisions." Being at that orphanage, knowing what we have her in America, it's a NO BRAINER. Get a kid, ANY kid, and bring them into tour family! Why is adoption such a difficult decision anyway?

Could it be fear? Fear that they will hate us and never bond. Fear that we will go bankrupt paying their medical bills. Fear that we won't ever love them like one that comes from us. Fear that they will be a burden to raise and may never be able to function on their own. Fear that it will warp our biological children and not be fair to them. Fear that it will be way too much work.

So then how do we make our decisions in life? Based on fear? Or based on what we know we should do. Based on what God would want us to do. Based on our heart. Based on what God did for us!

I think in our minds it may be "easier" to love a child with special needs if they look like us. If they are our biological children. Because we love of biological children no matter what they act like, look like, or talk like. They are ours. I wonder how hard it is to love a child who is not your biological child and has special needs.... That week while I was there God was doing something strong in me. I felt all alone...with Him. I think that being at that orphanage with those children was the closest physically I've ever felt to God. I could feel that He was speaking things to me that I wasn't so sure I was ready for. I felt like He was looking for a response from me. I felt like He was stretching me.

I have read several blogs where well meaning women make statements about adoption that make others feel mad and guilty if they aren't adopting a child. I am not going to say everyone should adopt. I only know that I used to not consider adoption. And now, I'm amazed at the thought of us not adopting. It makes me sad and scared to think we would've missed out on so much! But my aim is to share with you my journey so that you might consider adopting, or giving money to someone's adoption, or sending donations to orphanages, or visiting orphans!

All I can say is that since Daniel and I opened our hearts WIDE OPEN to God and let go of what we had in mind, what we had planned, what we thought was "normal" then big changes started happening! And we like them. It's fun to serve God and know that His ways are perfect. And whatever His plan is for us, we are ready. I just want to be an empty vessel, a clump of clay He can do whatever He wants. I don't want ME to get in the way of HIM in ME!

Back to that family I mentioned first. How could they do such a thing as adopt that boy knowing well ahead of time the work and sacrifice that was involved??? Now I get it. Now I realize that it's not all about me and us! It's about that boy. It's about getting out of ourselves and changing someone's life. Whether it's an orphan in China or the person on the street of Tulsa. It's about doing something led by the Spirit of God without letting your flesh dictate.

Pastor Sharon said something that really hit home to me a few months ago. She was preaching on giving and serving others. She said one of the reasons why we don't get more involved with others is because we are afraid of assuming responsibility. It's easy to send a check to Haiti but it's harder to go there. It's easy to give the homeless man a couple of dollars but it's harder to sit down and talk to him for five minutes and see if he needs help.

I'm asking God to be my Lord of all my decisions. Every move I make. I just don't want to miss out on His plan for my life. Even if the road is harder.

PS. the boy pictured above is not the boy in the story

Do I value life too much?

Ever since I watched my dad pass into eternity at age 45 my perspective changed....and then when my pastor stepped into eternity at a very young 58 it changed again. And then a precious little girl close to Phoebe....and then a loving brother who gave part of his liver to save his brother from a chronic liver disease..... all stepped from this earth into eternity....way too young.

It's got me thinking about something. Maybe we place too much value on long life. I'm just thinking out loud here... but maybe we see life as our chance to shine, our chance to grow up, make a name for ourselves, travel to all the places we dream of, have children who have chidren who grow up to be successful with prosperous careers. Have cute kids that play sports and go to college and make us proud. Live a long time and grow old gracefully surrounded by markers of success all around us, and then peacefully die when we are old and everyone honor our lives.

And if that is interrupted in any way, especially if our lives are cut short by the standard of old age, then something must've gone wrong. What went wrong? What happened? What did we do? What didn't we do? What should we have done different? How could this happen? How could a little child be taken from this earth so young...without a chance to live a long life?

And we think and ponder...but never are satisfied with an answer so the next tragedy we hear about....shock again...how could that happen! And it affects us as if nothing has ever happened bad before. Why? Because we value life so much....but not just life, long life.

I've never seen a person make better use of their life than Billy Joe Daugherty, my spiritual father. And while I dream every day of him being back again as if nothing ever happened, I realize that he didn't waste any time and he used it all for the Kingdom of God, not to pursue his success.

My dad loved his family and we and he had no regrets. We loved each other, we said it, we lived it. He worked hard too provide for us. He loved God.....but 45 years, come on, that's just way to young.

But if I look at life differently for a moment, if I look at life as a vapor, just as the Word of God calls it, then I'm not so upset, mad, and confused at tragic death. Do you think God welcomes those who die young into Heaven with a hung head as if to say I'm so sorry you had to leave that wonderful place early and come here to Me? I don't think He does. I wonder if in Heaven LIFE becomes crystal clear....LIFE truly begins when we reach Eternity! What if this is just a training ground? What if this is just a blip of time given to us so that we could choose or reject God. People born everyday hopefully to grow up to choose God so that we could live with Him forever. And all that other stuff really doesn't matter. Like length of time here.

If Eternity is forever....then what difference does a short or long time on Earth really matter after all. And think about all the sad little children who die early....at least they never grew up and turned away from God, right?

I'm not saying life here doesn't matter, but that maybe we should look at our time here differently. How much time does the average American waste in their lifetime watching trash on television. How much time does the average American waste building a bank account or the facade of one through their home and vehicles? How much time does the average American waste living for themselves, and feeling sorry for their life and the things that has happened to them?

What if from this point on we made life really count? So that if we left this earth tomorrow or in 40 years it would be ok. And what if we become resilient to tragedy? We believe for miracles, prosperity, health and long life. But if life doesn't go as we want, plan, or need it to, then we adapt, we change, we grow, we bend, we stare boldly at tragedy and know that God is still God and we have a purpose in this life that goes beyond happiness and safety.

Hmmmm....I think I'm gonna try that.

Are Holy Ghosts good or bad? -Rob

In honor of Rob's birthday I thought I'd share some of his famous quotes over his 8 years with you all!

"Mom, you can't lose your sweet tooth, can you?"

Upon looking at his toddler bed that Johnny was using, "This bed brings back so many good memories!"

When asked why he doesn't eat the crusts on his sandwiches, "Everytime I start to eat the crusts, I start to not feel better."

"It's fun to be a dog, but it's funner to be a boy."

"Is there a measurer in Heaven to see if you're tall enough to ride the rides?' he asked this when he was around 4 and he was very concerned.

When he was four he would see Phoebe do homework, "I am sure glad boys don't have to do homework."

"Jesus can run faster than a cheetah!"

While eating french toast he pointed to the powdered sugar on top and asked, "Mom, is this the french?"

"The devil likes alligators because they're mean."

"It is my dream to live at IHOP (the restaurant) and it is my dream to live at Disney World, so I really don't know which one to choose."

One morning I could not find any pants that fit Rob. He is growing and all his pants are too tight. Finally I just told him that he is going to have to wear the ones he had on...they were the biggest we had, but they had a hole in each knee of the jeans!
Rob said, "I cannot wear these jeans to school! These will bother me all day long and when we sit down criss cross apple sauce my knees will poke out of these jeans and bother me and I will disturb other people around me and then I will break the code of conduct that says you cannot disturb other people!"

While in the GAP dressing room:
He takes off his pants to try on jeans...
"are you allowed to do this in here?" while he squinches his face to
one side
"Yes Rob" I replied.
"Are you allowed to do ANYTHING YOU WANT in here?" He asks with
excitement and wonder
Like what, I said
"Are you allowed to take off your underwear in here?!!!!"

"Houses have to be messy so kids can play and eat and have fun!" when asked why they make such big messes.

"Phoebe's not in charge of everything or the whole wide world! Jesus is!"

"Mom come play with me,
me- Rob, I have to clean and cook supper!
Rob- "that's boring. I don't think I'm gonna do that when I get older."

"I'm starting to not believe in dreams anymore!!!" believe it or not, he said this around age 5 when the Maya and Miguel DVD wouldn't work!!! LOL

"Daddy, when you get old if you don't have any energy, I'll be there to make you a sandwich." <3

After wanting and waiting months for a remote controlled dalmation from the Disney store only to get it home and find out it didn't work, he shuffled down the hall and mumbled to himself, "I waited all this time for nothin!"

After waking up one morning and noticing his markers were left out all night without the lids on: "Johnny is never ever again allowed to use my markers again. Not even when God comes to pick us up!!! He can never never again use them here on earth. But...... he can use them in Heaven cause I know nobody leaves marker tops off in Heaven....right Mommy?"

and yes, he did ask me if Holy Ghosts were good or bad when he was younger! Precious!

I love that boy so much. Daniel has always called him golden and All-American since he was born and he truly is. When he was a baby just minutes old he scooted all the way up my chest and nestled his face into my neck. I was amazed and wondered if he could repeat the motion so I pulled him down and he did it again and again and again!

Plus, he came almost 4 weeks early and was fully developed. He was ready to see us! He is precious. So obedient and loyal and looks out for others. I thank God for my Robert! He even got his namesakes broad shoulders. My dad would be proud!

Have you ever screamed at the top of your lungs at church?

Lately I've found myself at meetings and services where it's gotten pretty wild. Pure crazy and loud for Jesus! I'm talking, the kind of noise you only are used to hearing at college football stadiums. I have been in many many great church services and evangelistic meetings over the years but something has changed lately. Do you feel it?

I can remember when John Bevere came to our church last year and told us to shout for freedom at the top of our lungs. The roar shook the building and went on for at least 3 minutes maybe longer. It was the loudest sound I'd ever heard and yet it was music to my ears. What did that do you ask? Is there any need for that in the church you might think? Well you tell me? Have you ever shouted in praise to God like that? Well if you haven't then you have no idea.

I've been in a charismatic church now for around 18 years. There's always been excitement and a small group of people that were "free." But it wasn't me. I remember raising my arms half way in praise to God. That felt good to me. I was able to express my surrender and love for God in a new way that was safe but didn't draw too much attention to me. Because I'm sure everyone was looking at me....right? Lol. Why does everything have to be about us?

Then I remember the day that I flung my arms as high as I could get them in the air...and it felt good. I couldn't keep my arms down. I was unaware of the moment. Caught up with Him! Because I got to know my God a little better. I realized how much He loves me and gave me....and just like someone in the natural who'd had given me such a great gift, I found myself needing to express my love and gratitude a bit differently.

When sports fanatics watch a game they get into it. They yell and holler and laugh and run around like drunk idiots! (No offense sports fanatics. But you know you do!) Why do they do that? Because they are DEVOTED to their team. Because they love to celebrate with other fans and proudly let it be known that that's their team!!! Speaking of drunk...have you ever realized how drunk people don't care who's watching....they are in another world aren't they. They are caught up in drunk fantasy world! Makes me think of the scripture in Acts when the people accuse the believers speaking in tongues of being drunk. I wonder what they were doing and how they were acting to be accused of being drunk? Well I know....because I've seen it. How much PASSION did Jesus have for you gong to that cross? How much have you got for Him?

You know what the world does. It perverts. And it steals from the Bible. Hollywood's great stories of good vs. evil. All of Buddah's encouraging words. The Bible is the beginning. Everything came from it. And yet in this move of new age and karma people act like some person was a genius for discovering some new law of attraction and whatnot. But you see the world takes things and claims them for itself.

Why will we go to a football game and scream and holler for our team and jump up and down and shout praises when they are victorious? Why do people take their school colors and wear them upon every inch of their bodies in pride? But when we go to church we gotta act cilivized, right? Put on your church face and your church clothes and try not to fall asleep when the preacher is preaching.

Well my days of that are over. Because He's been too good to me to stay silent. I have discovered Him in a way I never dreamed. He's real to me. He's more real than you are to me. And there is nothing I enjoy more that getting in a room full of believers who just wanna express themselves to God. I find that I can't keep my arms down! I can't stay in the seat being entertained by the offering song! He's been too good to me. He's changed me forever and I can't help myself. I'm undone and I like it.

One morning I woke up with the words IT WAS FOR FREEDOM THAT CHRIST SET YOU FREE in my mind. They were so loud and clear and intimate and direct that I felt like I'd never heard them before. Like it was said to me for the first time.....so I remember asking Daniel if it was a Scripture because I was so confused. Of course it was (so thankful that my husband knows the Word forwards and backwards...he should be on a Bible trivia game show!). Yes, there it was in Galatians 5:1, "It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery." Look at it in a few different translations:

New Living Translation (©2007)
So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don't get tied up again in slavery to the law.

The Message
Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.

And that morning in the bed I realized that this verse is for me in every area of my life. If I am bound by a habit, Christ set me free on the cross! If I am bound by what others think of me, Christ set me free on the cross! And He didn't do it just for kicks! He did it so I WOULD TRULY BE FREE. When we take up those same things He died for it's like saying His sacrifice wasn't enough. But it was. And you know, fear of man can be so crippling. And it's really sad that we let the devil control us so much with it. I was ready to live life differently. Put all my eggs in one basket. Lay it all on the line. Sell out! No matter what.

You see, God is a jealous God. The same God from Deuteronomy is the same God we serve. And guess what? He's still jealous. He wants ALL of us. Not a half-hearted puny part reserved for proper worship on Sunday mornings. He wants every fiber of our being to worship Him and only Him. And He deserves it.

God isn't going to let the passion of a bunch of sold-out sports fanatics or young Muslim suicide bombers burn harder and brighter than His people. He's calling a remnant to be sold out for Jesus! John the Baptist radicals to proclaim the coming of the Lord! To usher in His presence with worldy abandonment! He's coming back for us. Not the lukewarm church who can't remember it's first love. To the bride burning with passion and zeal! Who's been preparing for this moment it's whole life just as a young bride dreams of her wedding. Who's kept herself for the only One that really matters and forsaken the lusts and draws of the world.

I'm not saying you have to throw your arms in the air to worship God. Why would I say that? People are all different, with differences and different expressions. Freedom may look and feel different to different people. But I wonder what it's gonna be like in Heaven?? How happy will we be? Oh how fun to run and rejoice with the angels! To shout Hosanna! To fall on our faces in gratitude and awe of the beauty, justice and mercy of the God of the universe who saved our souls!

I'm ready! But until then, I want to get in alot of practice!!!