When the going get's tough, change your beliefs.

What do I believe and why? That's what I started to ask myself a few years ago. And I started writing it down. About everything from healing and other theological doctrines to environmental causes and style. I've always been a person who lived with intention and by a set belief system. I know I'm always learning and growing, but even so, I live according to my convictions and the Word of God. In my eyes, if you don't know what you believe and why, then you will be tossed to and fro in this earth trying to please others and being a different person around different people. When I was young I would do that. I would feel the need to alter my behavior and personality around others so that they would like me more.

When you have a set belief system you will often find yourself disagreeing with others who don't share those same beliefs. What's so bad about that? Why are people so afraid to disagree? And when your belief system and convictions are based upon the Word of God and by the Holy Spirit you will absolutely find yourself being the odd man out.

I think when the going gets tough for us, it's human nature to protect ourselves. So the easiest way to get through the tough situation is to alter our beliefs. Last year when my pastor went to heaven it threw me for quite a loop. After all, I believe in healing. I believe in miracles. But what I prayed for didn't happen. I didn't see the miracle I was wanting to. In his life or my own father's. And for a few weeks or months I toyed with the idea of throwing all I believed in out the window. Starting over. Isn't that what we do? In our relationships. In our lives. Take the easy route. If we don't like our church we switch. And then when we don't like that one anymore we switch again. And people leave their spouses and move on to the next because it feels right. But what does that really accomplish in the end?

After I got my flesh out of the way last year I was able to realize that just because life got harder and just because something I wanted to happen didn't happen wasn't any reason to change my beliefs. It would have been easier. Because now I can't explain everything. I have to say I DON'T KNOW and be ok with that.

I've found that the goal in my life is not to understand all the reasons why or to have an easy time. Running from hard times does nothing but make me a coward. Changing myself as the wind blows makes me a double minded person. Choosing the easy route and the one that feels good and is the most fun isn't the road to life. Why does God say the road is narrow? If a road is narrow then that must mean its not very popular, right? It's not very popular these days to deny your flesh and take up your cross and follow Him, is it? It's not very popular to life your life for others. To consider others and how it might affect them...

When I was younger I felt like there wasn't enough liberty in my walk with God. I didn't feel like I knew how to freely and uninhibited worship and express my love for my God to others or to Him. I am thankful for my family, my church and for ORU where I met precious people who loved God with pure hearts and showed me a side of Christianity that I had not seen before. But now I see too much of the opposite in the world today, and even in the Christian realm. It's like people have taken the words free in Christ and used them selfishly. Freedom in Christ doesn't mean freedom to do what you want.

John Bevere has a wonderful book Under Cover which talks about submitting to authority. It seems like we've forgotten how to submit to authority....because we are free, right? And no one's gonna MAKE me do anything! But that's not how Jesus acted. And that's not what the Bible tells us to do. When we cannot submit to our parents, the government, our pastors, our children's teachers, etc., then how on earth are we supposed to know how to submit to God. It's something that has to be taught to a child. When the parent's don't require the child to submit to elders, or when the parents themselves rebel against leadership and the children see it, then the children grow up thinking that submission to God is lousy and no fun and bondage.

I am not a slave to legalism. But you know what. There are rules in life. There are laws we have to follow when we drive. There are spiritual laws that we cannot see. There are rules at school. Rules and laws aren't always bad. Why do people think so? You can see a police car on the freeway and be relieved that it's there to help you or feel mad because it's trying to catch you breaking the law.....what's the difference? It's in the way you see it.

I feel like the more I study God's Word the easier it is for me to keep my mouth shut and submit to rules and authority I don't agree with. I speak out plenty.....I've never been afraid to speak out against injustice....but I'm not talking about injustice here. But I don't see my life as it for me. My life truly begins when I meet my Father face to face where I will spend eternity based on my life here. I guess if you see it differently then you might seek out pleasure and ease while here on earth. My focus has never been on trying to earn God's love through the law, although I do want to please Him and I do strive to please Him everyday. My focus has never been ease or pleasure but on applying the Word of God to my daily life. And because of that, I have true joy. Happiness is based on circumstance. Joy is from within regardless. I love my life. I love hearing from God things I need to change and grow in. I love seeing God change me every year and making me more like Him. I love stuffing my desires down and seeking after His heart. It satisfies me. It fulfills me. It renews me.

There is a difference between peace and pacification. Peace lasts. Pacification doesn't. I realized this a few years ago after I went to see a movie that I was really excited about seeing. Fun times! Snacks, a movie, me and husband on a date. Went to see a stupid movie. Later than night I thought, OK, now that's over. What next? Because it did nothing for me. Isn't it funny how we can look from thing to thing, party to party, movie to movie, holiday to holiday, trip to trip, meal to meal, for satisfaction but it doesn't last long.

There are gaps and holes and moments and decisions that can only be filled with God and submitting to Him. And when I've done that I find myself content. And I suddenly don't have to prove my point, make sure the other knows I was right, come out on top, or be the life of the party. I suddenly don't place fun at the top of my list, seeking out the world and Hollywood to entertain me. It is a strange and easy contentment that brings me peace and joy.

So I've made up my mind that I'm gonna stick to what I know is true even when it's not convenient or popular. I'm gonna life my life based upon beliefs and convictions not because it feels good. I'm not gonna run to the world to forget about my life and my problems only to find them waiting for me when I return. And when the going get's tough, I'm gonna be firmly grounded. Even if the road is narrow.